


Confusion

by Calzyy



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Bisexual Male Character, Drugs, F/F, F/M, Gay Male Character, M/M, Pansexual Character, References to Depression, References to Drugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-07-07 07:39:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15903840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calzyy/pseuds/Calzyy
Summary: The SQUIPs gone, Jeremy has finally achieved his life-long goal of dating Christine. He has friends, everything is perfect, right?Michael Mell has a different view.





	1. Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! If you enjoyed the fanfic so far I would be really appreciative if you would also check it out on WattPad, it helps me out a lot! My WattPad is https://www.wattpad.com/user/Calzyy

Happiness.

Jeremy felt it, he was happy, happy about his life, happy about what was going on now. Happy that he was with his one true love, Christine Canigula. Happy that the S.Q.U.I.P had gone forever, he had new friends, the "SQUIP Squad + Michael" as they had labelled it, after all, they had all had SQUIPS, even if only for a short amount of time.

Except for Michael, he was the odd one out. Michael had always been an "odd one out" from everyone else, in kindergarten when everyone was playing with their friends on the swings and running around, full of happiness. Michael would sit alone dejectedly as far away from everyone as possible. Feeling the opposite of happiness.

They had actually become friends against their will, Jeremy couldn't find anyone to partner up with for an activity they had been forced to do, he couldn't remember what it was now, that was stupid, surely he should have remembered meeting his best friend? But Michael also had no partner, so the teachers paired them up together. At first, they didn't talk, but they got along well, after a while, a friendship bloomed. Michael felt happiness. They always had their ups and downs, but they emerged at the end with as strong of a friendship as ever.

But things can't stay the same. Jeremy longed for something more, for more than one friend, for a social life.

For Christine

Then 12 years later, Michael was sat in a bathroom, all by himself. Feeling the opposite of happiness once more. Dejected and on his own again, just like kindergarten, he had lost his only friend, and if he had stayed in that bathroom for a few more hours, maybe his life too.

No... Now wasn't the time to think about what he did to Michael, he still needed to apologise for that, but that is in the future. For now, he needed to focus on the future. 

And his girlfriend, Christine, who had just appeared next to him, the happy, energetic, bubbly Christine. She was truly perfect, and Jeremy loved everything about her. Or at least, he thought he did. Something just still didn't feel right about all of this. And he didn't know what it was.

\---

Michael thought, he was happy, he was happy right? This was what happiness felt like, right? He had just got his best friend back, he's happy. Happy. But why does this happiness feel so much like emptiness? Why does looking Jeremy in the eye only make him anxious? No, no, no. He should be happy, not sitting here like this, he could go out and enjoy himself with his new friends, but of course, he had to keep himself here absentmindedly scrolling through Twitter and Instagram on his phone.

He slammed his hand down on his desk, barely feeling the sting of the pain but happy that he had brought himself back to reality and out of his thoughts. He had to text Jeremy.

Quickly closing Twitter, he went to messages, his phone was still on Jeremy's contact from their earlier conversation. He briefly thought about calling Jeremy, but Jeremy was busy, he might be out with their newly found friends. And if he happened to be near Jenna Rolan she would spread that they had some sort of romantic affair going on, that's just what Jenna did after all.

But Michael wouldn't really mind that, he wouldn't mind spending his life with Jeremy, waking up next to him and making him his breakfast, playing video games together, stuck in an eternal state of happiness.

No, that couldn't happen. Jeremy was with Christine, and as long as Jeremy was happy, Michael was happy, how could he be so selfish? Wanting to take Jeremy from Christine so he could have him to himself.

He would just hurt Christine by doing that, no point trying after all. Did Jeremy even know he was gay? He thought the pride patch on his hoodie gave it away but Jeremy had not mentioned, not even once. Not once throughout the entire 2 years that he had been wearing it on his signature red hoodie, which was now decorated with many patches of things Michael loved and cared about.

What was he doing again? Oh, texting Jeremy, that was it. He quickly typed out a simple "Hey" to Jeremy, it was best not to type loads as Jeremy could be busy and it might interrupt him, he wouldn't want to inconvenience Jeremy. He simply cared about him too much.

Michael clicked off Jeremy's contact, he contemplated talking to Rich, Rich would understand. Rich had recently come out as bisexual but had quickly gotten with Jake, his best friend. Michael secretly wished Jeremy and him could be like that, two best friends that became lovers. But unfortunately, Michael will never get what he wants. Jeremy's straight after all, isn't he?

Or is he? Michael had never ever talked about sexuality to Jeremy, although he decided now wouldn't be a good time to bring it up, after all, they were all still healing from the entire S.Q.U.I.P incident. Jeremy had already apologised, but he said he still wanted to talk about it more, and what it did exactly, so Michael knew everything. Maybe Jeremy thought Michael hated him? Of course, he didn't, even when Jeremy was literally the worst thing in his life with the S.Q.U.I.P in his head, he couldn't even bring himself to hate him properly. He wouldn't have saved him from it after all if he hadn't cared about him still.

\--

Jeremy's phone buzzed. He guessed it was a text from Michael, even though he got texts from lots of people now. Michael always remained his most frequently contacted friend. He unlocked his phone and discovered he was partially correct. Michael had messaged him, a simple "Hey" but he had also received a message from... Brooke? Why would Brooke be messaging him? They normally only talked at school or in some of the insane group chats they had, never alone to each other.

Jeremy quickly responded with a "Hi" to Michael, before opening Brooke's messages, as he scanned over the message though, he only became more confused. The message simply read "Hey, have some stuff I wanna talk bout with you, meet me at Pinkberry, one hour, please. I'm so sorry for this coming out of nowhere"


	2. Do you wanna... talk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any view or comment or just anything really on the fanfic then comments it, I'd really love to know your opinions! Of course, you dont have to if you don't want. Check the story out on WattPad too if you want to, I would really appreciate it!  
> https://www.wattpad.com/user/Calzyy

Forward to 45 minutes later, when Jeremy was panicking, practically rushing out of his door to arrive at Pinkberry to meet Brooke. Whatever this was, he knew it was urgent, why would Brooke be talking to him about this though? Well, she still partially hated Chloe, Jenna was a gossip queen who just shared everyone's personal information, and well, other than that, Brooke really wasn't friends with anyone else. So maybe Jeremy was the only option after all.

As Jeremy arrived at the Pinkberry after having a fifteen-minute run, he had to stop for breath, never in his life had he done such amounts of exercise! Running, for fifteen minutes! It was unheard of in Jeremy's life. The most exercise he did in his life was walking throughout his house, occasionally to school if he felt like it.

As Jeremy peeked through the window to check if Brooke was there, she was, sat at a table, with two Pinkberry frozen yoghurts, maybe entering now was the best idea before Brooke started to get the idea that Jeremy wouldn't turn up, that's the last thing he wanted after all.

As Jeremy swung the door open, he saw Brookes eyes immediately dart up to him, and her expression changed from one of concern and worry to one of relief, even if only briefly. Jeremy immediately felt feelings of guilt for how he had treated Brooke in the past, how he could have made things work, made it differe- No, no, no. Now wasn't the time to be thinking about that, save his worrying for later, now, it was time to focus on Brooke.

Jeremy walked over to opposite where Brooke was sat, with Brooke never taking her eyes off him. "Hey" Brooke was the one to initiate the conversation. And she did it as soon as possible. "Hey" Jeremy responded back, and then looked down at the yoghurt Brooke had chosen for him. "Oh, you do like chocolate, don't you? I just, really had no clue what you wanted and I thought chocolate would be best and if you don't like chocolate I'll just get you a new one that you do like and-" Jeremy realised Brooke was probably beginning to hyperventilate so cut her off "No, no Brooke, I like chocolate, I love it actually, thank you, you didn't have to get me anything though, you know?" Brooke once again seemed to relax after hearing this. "Oh, well, that's alright then, I just felt like I should get you one though, after dragging you out here like this... I thought that you at least deserved something in return."

"Speaking of that, what did you want to talk about, Brooke?" Brooke once again seemed to regain her previous tension after hearing this. "W-well, umm, I just, I, Well, Jeremy, I wanted to talk about... about... my... my... Oh god why did I get into a conversation about this... what... what if I regret it or.. or you aren't accepting or... it could go so wrong I shouldn't of-" Jeremy took a third scoop of his frozen yoghurt "Brooke, calm down, your gonna have a panic attack yknow, that's the last thing I want here" By this point, Brooke had fully finished her frozen yoghurt. Now, having nothing to distract herself with, or use as an excuse to not talk, she felt like she had to talk. "I... I.. I really don't know how to say this Jeremy... Right, fine, I can't just up and leave, as much as I want to, I don't want you to hate me too... Right, I'm... I'm... Pansexual..."

The words that came out of Brooke's mouth shocked Jeremy, fuck, how did he respond now? Did he ask her how she knew this? Tell her he was accepting? What was he best to do, fuck, why couldn't he call Michael and ask him now, that's exactly what he needed, think, think, what did he do when Michael came out... He can't remember, what a horrible friend, not remembering his cru- best friend coming out to him. Show acceptance, that's what he thought, surely that would go well.

Brooke looked like she was about to burst into tears after no response from Jeremy for a few seconds, placing his hand on Brooke's shoulder he began to speak. "Hey, hey Brooke, it's alright. I'm always going to accept you, yknow, Michael's gay, and I've always accepted him, its never going to be any different for you, you aren't a different person now that you've come out, your still the same old Brooke I know. The Brooke that can lighten everyone's mood when she walks into the room, the Brooke that everyone adores and wants to have the same fashion sense as. Nothing has changed Brooke, you've just discovered something new about yourself, and you should embrace it. It's part of you Brooke, and you are still a great person, no matter what."

Brooke looked at Jeremy and pulled him into a hug over the table, she began to cry. "Th-thank you Je-Jeremy. I never... never expected anyone to say something like that to me... I didn't think no one would accept me, you're the first person I've ever told..." "Wait... I'm the first?" Jeremy looked at Brooke with confusion. "If you don't mind me asking, why me?" Brooke's response was almost instantaneous, "Well, Chloe's still a bit of a bitch, Jenna is just... no... while I knew Rich was Bisexual, I don't feel comfortable talking to him as he is similar to Jenna with that sort of information, I don't know Jake that well, or Michael, and you were the only option I had." 

"Well, you could always talk to Michael about it? He's nice, very accepting, he'll probably start wanting to go and buy makeup and nail polish and go to pride events with you though, so if your fine with that then he'd be great to tell." Brooke giggled at this, "Michael does that stuff?" "Yeah, he does, well, I've seen some makeup in his drawers, but never seen him wear it, he wears black nail polish sometimes actually, so, yeah"

The conversation continued like this for a while. Pleasant, happy, normal. Until Jeremy asked a single question that sparked something in Brooke "So, who made you think you were like, not straight then?" Brooke looked scared at this, checked her phone, unlocked it, no response yet, looked like she was clicking through things, put it away, stood up. "Um... I have something to go to... with.. with Chloe! I'll speak to you later Jeremy, Bye!" Brooke practically ran out of the Pinkberry. Jeremy went to stand up to go after her but it was no good, what, what was that? Why did she do that at such a simple question, should he not of asked her that?

Jeremy stood up and began to leave, he had finished his yoghurt and Brooke had left, no point staying after all. But then, his phone buzzed, a new message? Why was he getting so many lately, that wasn't normal for him.

"Hey, Jeremy, I just saw Brooke literally sprint past me, looks like she was crying, um, I doubt you will know but do you know what happened?" Christine's message was short and simple. But yet Jeremy didn't know how to reply.


End file.
